Pages:255 Pages

Ole Doc Methuselah

FICTION / Science Fiction / Space Opera

By L. Ron Hubbard (Author)


Renowned throughout the universe…

A star among the stars…

A timeless hero whose time is now…

Ole Doc Methuselah is his name, and saving the universe is his game.

He may be a touch absent-minded, a tad disorganized, with a slight tendency to lose all perspective in the presence of an attractive woman… but when it comes to saviors of the universe, you take what you can get.

And what you get with Ole Doc Methuselah—the most famous member of the most elite organization in the universe, the Soldiers of Light—is action, spectacle, mystery, and plenty of laughs along the way.

With his razor-sharp scalpel, hypodermic needles, and doctor's bag of tricks, he journeys to the far corners of the cosmos, vowing to cut out the corruption, confront the cruelty, and contain the warped psychology that plagues mankind—and all other kind out there.

Yes, there is intelligent life in the universe after all.You'll find it in Ole Doc Methuselah. So if you're looking for an adventure to remember, this is just what the doctor ordered.

"Classic adventures by a classic writer." —Roger Zelazny


Ole Doc Methuselah Glossaries

abattoir: slaughterhouse; a facility where farm animals are killed and processed into meat products. Used figuratively.

Algol System: a three-star system in the constellation Perseus located in the northern hemisphere, approximately 92.8 light-years from Earth. The brightest star, Algol, known as the “Demon Star,” has also been called the “Blinking Demon” due to the fact that every 68.75 hours its light dims rather suddenly for several hours before returning just as quickly to its former brightness, a change that can be seen with the naked eye. This phenomena is caused when Algol is eclipsed by the dimmer secondary star (Algol B) as it passes in front of the brighter star once per orbit; thus the light reaching Earth is temporarily decreased.

alkaloid: a member of a large group of chemicals that are made by plants and have nitrogen in them, used in medicines, drugs or as a poison. Alkaloids include cocaine, nicotine, caffeine and morphine.

alpha: alpha particle; a radioactive particle made up of two protons and two neutrons. These particles are created by the decay of a radioactive material.

Alpha Centauri: the triple-star system that is closest to the Earth.

Apocalypse: the final destruction of the world as described in the biblical Book of Revelation (the last book in the New Testament). The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are personified as plague, war, famine and death, sent as harbingers of the end of the world.

asepsis: the state of being free of disease-carrying organisms.

avec: (French) with.

backwash: isolated, secluded or backward.

Benadryl: a medication used to treat allergies.

Beta: the fifth brightest star in Ursa Major and also one of the “Pointers” that leads the way to Polaris, the North Star. It is located seventy-nine light years from Earth.

blue-sky: having dubious value; not financially sound.

Boccaccio: Giovanni Boccaccio (1313–1375), Italian poet and writer whose classic work, the Decameron (1348–1353), is a collection of 100 tales set against the melancholic background of the Black Death. The Decameron, which means “ten days,” is a fictional account of ten young people who flee from plague-ridden Florence to a country manor, and begin telling stories to keep themselves occupied and diverted from the tragedy they have fled. Ten days pass and each refugee tells one story, every day, making a total of 100 different tales. The stories explore a wide range of moral, social and political issues with candor and wit.

bos’n: bosun; a ship’s officer in charge of the supervision and maintenance of the ship and its equipment.

bravo: a daring villain; one who defies law.

bucko: a person who is domineering and bullying.

buncombe: hogwash, especially ludicrously false statements; bunk. The term arose in 1820 during a debate in Congress from the Representative of Buncombe County, North Carolina who gave a long rambling speech with little relevance to the current debate and refused to yield the floor. He informed his colleagues that his speech was not intended for Congress, and confessed that it was only made because his electors expected it, and that he was “speaking for Buncombe.”

calcine: to reduce or dry (a substance) by roasting or strong heat.

centrifuge: a machine that separates substances of different densities by rotating the sample at very high speed.

chandlery: commodities sold by a retailer who deals in specified goods or equipment.

chief warrant bos’n: chief warrant officer bosun. The bosun in charge of the deck crew holding the rank of chief warrant officer. The bosun uses a pipe (whistle-like device) to communicate orders via different arrangements of notes. The pipe is used during ceremonial honors when officers or officials board or leave a ship.

colloid: colloid cancer; a cancer characterized by excessive production of mucus-producing cancer cells.

comptometer: a type of mechanical or electromechanical adding machine. Although it was designed primarily for adding, it could also do division, multiplication and subtraction. Special comptometers with varying key arrays (with from thirty to well over one hundred keys) were produced for a variety of purposes, including calculating currencies, time and measures of weight. In the hands of a skilled operator, the comptometer was faster to use than electronic calculators and remained in use into the 1990s. The name is apparently from a blend of “compute” and “meter” meaning measure.

cycle, ten-to-thirteen: range of sound vibrations measured by the number of cycles of a (sound) wave per second. The frequency of sounds lies in the range of 20–20,000 cycles per second, and anything below 20 cycles per second cannot be heard by the human ear.

dynamo: a machine by which mechanical energy is changed into electrical energy; a generator.

ephedrine: a drug that opens the air passages, used in the treatment of asthma.

eugenicized: to produce genetic qualities or features by controlled selective breeding.

fop: a foolish person.

G: gravity; a unit of acceleration equal to the acceleration of gravity at the Earth’s surface.

gorget: an ornamental collar.

governor: a mechanism on an engine which automatically restricts the speed.

Graves’ disease: a disease that causes hyperactivity of the thyroid gland, a gland that helps set the rate of metabolism. When the thyroid is too active, it makes more thyroid hormones than the body needs and can cause weight loss, rapid heart rate and nervousness leading to heart problems and death. Named for the Irish doctor Robert James Graves who described it in 1835.

griffin: a legendary creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. As the lion was traditionally considered the king of the beasts and the eagle the king of the birds, the griffin was thought to be an especially powerful and majestic creature, and a guardian of the divine.

grog shop: a cheap tavern where alcoholic drinks are served.

gypsum: a common white or colorless mineral used to make cements and plaster, especially plaster of Paris.

gyro: gyroscope; an apparatus consisting of a rotating wheel so mounted that its axis can turn freely in certain or all directions, and capable of maintaining the same absolute direction in space in spite of movements of the mountings and surrounding parts; used to maintain equilibrium, determine direction, etc.

Harun al-Rashid: (766–809) fifth caliph of Baghdad (786–809). He is best remembered, however, as a central character in The Arabian Nights where he is portrayed as the epitome of the learned and just ruler. He often traveled about the city at night in disguise to learn firsthand the condition of his people.

helio motor: a motor run by energy from the sun.

hoist by his own petard: literally “to be blown up by one’s own bomb” or to have a situation of one’s own doing lead to one’s downfall. The line comes from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “For ’tis sport to have the engineer / Hoist with his own petard.…” Hamlet finds his childhood comrades, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, are plotting to have him killed. Hamlet turns the plot on them by substituting their names for his in the death warrant they carry from King Claudius. He goes on to say, “But I will delve one yard below their mines / And blow them at the moon.” The mines he speaks of are land mines or petards, small explosive devices designed to blow open barricaded doors and gates, a favorite weapon in Elizabethan times. Hamlet is saying, figuratively, that he would bury his bomb beneath Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and “hoist” them, that is, “blow them at the moon.”

humpy: (British slang) annoyed.

hypothyroid: affected by a deficiency in the activity of the thyroid gland, characterized by a lowered metabolic rate and general loss of vigor or sluggishness. Used humorously.

jig time, in: rapidly; in no time at all.

jingoist: extreme patriotism in the form of aggressive foreign policy. It refers to sections of the general public who advocate the use of threats of or actual force against other countries in order to safeguard what they perceive as their country’s national interests. The term comes from the chorus of a song commonly sung in pubs and music halls at the turn of the twentieth century:

We don’t want to fight but by Jingo if we do,
We’ve got the ships, we’ve got the men, we’ve got the money too,
We’ve fought the Bear before, and while we’re Britons true,
The Russians shall not have Constantinople.

Johns Hopkins: Johns Hopkins University, founded in 1876, located in Baltimore, Maryland, is the first American research university and is particularly regarded for its hospital and schools of medicine. Named for Johns Hopkins who left $7 million in his will for the foundation of the university, it has the stated goal of “The encouragement of research … and the advancement of individual scholars, who by their excellence will advance the sciences they pursue, and the society where they dwell.”

lingua: any hybrid language used for communication between different peoples.

log table: a table of common logarithms. A logarithm of a given number to a given base is the power to which you need to raise the base in order to get the number. For example, the logarithm of 1,000 to the common base 10 is 3 (10 x 10 x 10 = 1,000). Before the invention of calculators, the only alternative to slide rules was to use tables of logarithms that showed conversions of numbers into logarithms and vice versa, saving work in laborious calculations by hand on paper.

Malory: Sir Thomas Malory, English author, wrote Le Morte d’Arthur, one of the most popular prose romances about the medieval period. The book was the first full-length book in English about the adventures of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

manumission: a formal written act to free slaves.

manumitting: releasing from slavery or servitude.

Marzo: the month of March.

Mizar: a double star (two stars that revolve around each other under their mutual gravitation) in Ursa Major (the Big Dipper).

Muses: (Greek mythology) any of the nine daughters of Zeus (king of the gods) and Mnemosyne (goddess of memory), each of whom preside over a different art or science. The nine Muses and their specialties are traditionally: Calliope (epic poetry), Clio (history), Erato (love poetry, lyric art), Euterpe (music), Melpomene (tragedy), Polyhymnia or Polymnia (hymns, sacred songs), Terpsichore (dance), Thalia (comedy) and Urania (astronomy).

neurasthenia: a condition marked by chronic mental and physical fatigue and depression.

ODM: Ole Doc Methuselah.

OOD: officer of the deck; officer on duty in charge of the ship representing the commanding officer.

pharmacopeia: a book published usually under the jurisdiction of the government and containing a list of drugs, their formulas, methods for making medicinal preparations, requirements and tests for their strength and purity and other related information.

pill roller: a health professional trained in the art of preparing and dispensing drugs.

pinked: to stab lightly with a pointed weapon; prick.

pipe: to play on a pipe, a distinctive silver whistle used by the bosun during ceremonious greeting for important officers and officials as they come aboard or leave a ship.

powder magazine: a compartment for the storage of ammunition and explosives.

Procyon: Procyon System; a system of two stars that revolve around each other under their mutual gravitation, located approximately 11.5 light-years from Earth.

ragweed pollen: any of a number of weedy composite herbs that produce a pollen that is a frequent cause of allergies.

Rappaccini’s Daughter: a novel written in 1844 by Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804–1864), American novelist and short story writer. His work includes The Scarlet Letter (1850) and The House of the Seven Gables (1851). He was one of the leading writers of his time, moving away from formalism and exploring the ideas of individual responsibility, the importance of creative expression and man’s relationship to the natural world.

rheumatic heart: condition in which the heart valves are damaged by rheumatic fever, an infectious disease which is characterized by fever and joint pain.

Rotarian club: a club of business and professional men devoted to serving the community and promoting world peace.

sgt: sidereal galaxy time.

sideboys: sailors stationed to form a human passageway for distinguished visitors, officers or officials to pass through when arriving or departing a ship, plus an officer who pipes them (makes a call with a special whistle called a pipe) as they board or leave. The number of sailors varies from two to ten, depending on the rank of the visitor.

sidereal galaxy time: time determined by or from the stars. “Sidereal time” is time measured on Earth with respect to the stars, rather than the sun. Thus, “sidereal galaxy time” would be time measured in a galaxy with respect to the stars in that system.

Sirius: the brightest star in the nighttime sky, Sirius is a white dwarf star (what a star like our sun becomes after it has exhausted its nuclear fuel and is near the end of its nuclear burning stage) that has twenty-two times the brightness of the sun.

Spica: the brightest star in the constellation Virgo, and the fifteenth brightest star in the nighttime sky. It is 260 light-years distant from Earth.

swill parlor: a place, such as a tavern or bar, where beer is sold.

texas: the structure on a ship containing the pilothouse and the officers’ quarters, so called because steamboat cabins were named after states. At one time Texas was the largest state, and as the officers’ quarters were the largest, they were called texas.

trice, in a: a very short time; an instant; a moment.

UMS: Universal Medical Society.

Ursa Major: a constellation in the polar region of the Northern Hemisphere. Ursa Major, which means “the Great Bear,” contains the seven stars that form the Big Dipper.

UT: Universal Time.

Vega: the brightest star in the northern constellation Lyra, and the third brightest in Earth’s northern hemisphere. It is 25.3 light-years distant from Earth.

washboard weepers: radio lingo from the 1940s for soap operas.